I will never show the scene behind me.
Let all the acting play in role.
Let everything cover the sadness.
Let ....

Good morning.
Another day.

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Sem 3

Here comes the end of Sem 3.
This sem was kinda stress, not only with studies but as well as reports.
Reports always stack like a hill!
Basically, our life is full with assignments, exams, presentation, reports during this sem.
However, this sem passed so fast that without realizing, it's already end of November now.

There were arguments, there were laughters too.
Glad that everything had settled and my classmates are still in close with each other.
No doubts, they are the best classmates after all.

We were addicted to 'Plant vs Zombie' and Bejeweled recently.
These few days we wasted so much time in the class because there is no lecture, and we waited from morning til afternoon just for a class!
We were like those kids waiting for SPM examination.
So relax yet tension.

It's Kwen's Birthday today.
We had dinner in Swensen's.
One thing I feel regret is I don't get to eat the ice-cream because I was too full!
I will go after final!

Right now, concentrate for final and I can't wait to have FUN after final!
All the best, my fellow mates.

Author says, BE RIGHT BACK!

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Thanks for being so cruel to me.
I learn, and I will grow up.

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The feeling is complicated just like shit!
This is torturing.
Can I hide away? Far away...

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I feel good.

Today.
Is a good day.
I was so in mood of singing. And the problem is I am singing the same song over and over again.
Well, I have to say paiseh lar hor, to the person beside me who have to bear with my super duper 'high' pitch voice.
I was just.. haha!
Singing out loud could be fun sometimes. I don't care how bad I sang.
Lalala.

And I get to eat Choki-choki! After craving for so long!
Went to two shops of 7-eleven but out of stocks! And finally, I got it!
I was so so so happy.
Happiness is just that simple, you know?!
;)

Wee.~

Xie xie ni.

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Had a little heart talk with dad just now.
Never talk to him about my personal stuffs all this while, but this is my first time.
Of course, as a daddy, as a man, he gave me advices.

Thinking back, it was all my fault.
'If you don't say A, people won't say B.'
It's too late to undone everything, so look forward.
You can't turn back time, so make sure it's the right choice.

I dunno what to say anymore.

人是要用头脑来想东西的。
现在的我什么都不要想了。
累了。
明天是好的一天！

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暖暖




都可以随便的 你说的 我都愿意去
小火车 摆动的旋律
都可以是真的 你说的 我都会相信
因为我 完全信任你
）
细腻的喜欢 毛毯般的厚重感
晒过太阳 熟悉的安全感
分享热汤 我们两支汤匙一个碗
左心房 暖暖的好饱满

我想说 其实你很好 你自己却不知道
真心的对我好 不要求回报
爱一个人 希望他过更好
打从心里暖暖的 你比自己更重要

都可以随便的 你说的 我都愿意去
回忆里 满足的旋律
都可以是真的 你说的 我都会相信
因为我 完全信任你


细腻的喜欢 你手掌的厚实感
什么困难 都觉得有希望
我哼着歌 你自然的就接下一段
我知道 暖暖就在胸膛

我想说其实你很好 你自己却不知道
真心的对我好 不要求回报
爱一个人 希望他过更好
打从心里暖暖的 你比自己更重要

我想说其实你很好 你自己却不知道
从来都很低调 自信心不高
爱一个人 希望他过更好
打从心里暖暖的 你比自己更重要

你不知道 真心的对我好 不要求回报
爱一个人 希望他过更好
打从心里暖暖的 你比自己更重要
我也希望变更好

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Update Update

Too many things happened to my family recently.
After one lost, another of my uncle was admitted to the hospital.
Glad that he is alright now and has been discharged yesterday.
Visited him that day, alone.
Been so close with him when I was young. And out of sudden, I miss the moments of us play and fool with him in mum's shop.
10 years passed. He is becoming thinner, and I am in the other way round?
It was quite awkward at first because there were only both of us in the ward.
But we chatted and he is still the same, that funny.

After so many things happened, we appreciate each other even more.
Aunties all came to visit him, and my sibling is becoming more health-conscious.
Good thing, good thing.
But November isn't a good month for my family.

I believe, tomorrow will be a better day.
Up coming next is concentrating in my final exam, but not forgetting to enjoy too.
I need to study smart,
And be healthy!
And be happy!!

=)

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Lost

Received the shocking early in the morning that day.
None of us actually believed it when we first received the call.
This is unexpected. He was okay all this while but he leaves us so suddenly.

The feeling of losing the one you love, your family..
It's so pain and I finally felt the pain.
Relatives waited for me and we rushed to the funeral parlor once I finished my class that day.
Once we reached, tears fall. The moment we went beside the coffin, we cried even louder.
2 days of prayer. 2 days of sitting at the funeral parlor.
A peaceful place, but I really hate the feeling.

Today, the prayer ceremonies are over.
The wailing of the mourners reaches a crescendo.
All of us turned away during the sealing of the coffin.
When the coffin is nailed up, everyone cried.
I thought all these days they were so tough in accepting the fact, but they were not. Everyone cried so hardly today. That feeling, is like a knife stabbed into your heart.

At the cemetery, the coffin is burned.
We kneel down in front of the stove, looking at the fire, we shout for his name and we cried so terribly.
He leaves us at such a young age...

So many unusual things happened after the ceremony.
We received a miss call from the deceased.
Is it means that the deceased wants to tell us that he is fine, or is it someone accidentally pressed it?
Let it be a mist.

Alright, shall back to my mood.
I'm tired.
Life is short. So, appreciate.

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I felt so much pain, right in my heart. Thousand of words in my mind but I can't express it.
Dont... Sook Yee, don't think about it anymore.

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Speechless 2

I was so emotional just now. I got no idea why. It has been kept in my heart so long ago. You know what, I really felt so pain, deeply. After expressing, it make me feel much better. Talking about responsibility at this point is useless.

I am feeling calmer now. After a jog with Bobo.. Thinking hard.. Why are we reacting this way? No idea. Just hope, tomorrow will be a better day for us. It was a lesson for both of us. An unforgettable one.

I would like to say, thank you for all these days.
It's never been easy. Ups and Downs. Joys and Tears.
I hope you are doing well in the coming days.
I will keep updated.
It was a misunderstanding.

Sorry.

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SPEECHLESS

My heart felt so pain, so much pain. If you are thinking that it's all my fault, then blame me. Right now, I felt so helpless. I don't want to care about it anymore. I don't want to hear, see, sense or what so ever. I am so stupid for everything. I am so stupid! Why do I care so much? Why do I feel so hurt seeing all those? Why do I feeling such way? Look forward, that's all I can do.

I shouldn't think about it anymore. How long can I live? I should deserve a better life with more happiness. These few days were sucks. Thinking about what had happened made me feel so sick. All that were so sucks! I felt glad seeing you being so tough. I feel glad alright, I am happy for you. But please don't be this way..Tell me, who won't think about the past? If you hate it so much, then forget it.

You don't give a damn. Then I don't give a damn too! I am not angry but what made me feel so terrible now is, why when things happened, you push all the responsibility. Alright, blame me. My fault for bringing things into this stage. if you are tired, I am feeling tired too. I never thought things will become this way. But things already happened. Nothing else I can say - Speechless.

Everyone came and asked me. As if it's all my fault. Seriously, I felt so depressed. I will take it as its all my fault. I am so tired ady. This is really pain.

Sorry, ignore my terrible grammars or what-so-ever. This is just my personal thoughts, random one before class starts.Till then. Off.

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明明很想哭，却还在笑。

明明很在乎，却装作无所谓。

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Finally.. Finally, I'm done with everything. All the assignments, exams, seminar..
I can finally breath.
Up next will be clinics' reports.
And jogging!

Good. I love busy life.

STOP thinking! Do your work!

My Bobo really cute. ♥

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Eating wanten mee curry that I used to eat. The mee taste different this time. I hope it was the spiciness that....

I thought I am strong enough. But I am not.

我很想找個人, 對我說別怯慌..

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告诉自己，这是一个新的一课。

所以在未来的日子里，我要有新的目标！
1- 活得健康
2- 活得幸福快乐
3- 存钱
4 - 减肥
5- 快乐.. 还是快乐！

我越来越喜欢忙碌的日子了。
忙得透不过气，时间才会过得比较快。

以后的路，是一个人了。
以前的是曾经拥有。未来若有疤痕，也是我人生的印记。
乐观免不了沮丧， 沮丧过后还是乐观。
我要加油。

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I thanks to people for concerned about me.

CL said: do you need a listener? just want you to know. lots of people cares of you. and your smile will makes people around you happy. so, faster get well... and back to your life.esokchai, sure is tough tough kids. opps, adult... xD

Till then.

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Right now, I am in the class. Listening to his lecture. 3 hours. It's not that I don't want to pay attention. It's just, I can't. My mind isn't with me now. I can't think, don't ask me to think.

I need a peaceful mind. It wasn't a good day day for me. But seeing my fellow classmates going back to their hometown for holiday makes me feel happy for them. Seeing them smiling so happily, I  know they are feeling excited for it. I should feel glad that I actually staying with my family although it was kinda tiring of travelling everyday. Sometimes, you have to sacrificed to gain something.

There is always say easier than done. Today, things seems shadowed. Driving alone on the road, listening to songs that sound reflecting my feeling, which make me feel even worse.Feeling pain in the heart but you have to tell yourself from time to time to be tough. Feeling sad but you have to tell yourself from time to time not to cry. Feeling alone but you have to tell yourself from time to time that you are not alone.

Too many things to express..
I am sorry. But I'm feeling thankful at the same time.
Maybe 'time' is the only medicine I need.

Till then.

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1st Nov 2010

So fast, so fast.. It's November already!
4 assignments to be complete in this week.
Exhausted, really exhausted.

Right now, I am so happy because Public Relations's assignment is completed!
It included our hard works, ideas, hand made, designs. ha!
Thanks a lot, team mate! Heh.
Sorry if sometimes I rushed you, if I said anything that hurts you. You know la, the nature of girl..

See, nothing is impossible.
Look at the logo we designed!
From the beginning we were complaining that we shouldn't be in the same team.
Argued for different ideas. Condemning about the works.
Finally, it's done!

All the best doing the next assignment.
Till then, it is just a short post, telling you guys how great I feel.

As a lesson, don't do last minute work!
=)

November, I hope it will be a good month.

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